step in

After Jesse fell from the ladder two weeks ago, his dad came down to help out for the week.  He helped drive kids around when I couldn’t be two places at the same time.  He helped Jesse get work done that he couldn’t do himself and served as his chauffeur since he wasn’t supposed to drive. He stepped in and helped where there was a need, even before we realized how much of a need there would be.

This last week one of my best friends was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I held onto Jesse’s hand as she cried on the phone, trying to keep from crying myself.  I had thought about what would happen if this ended up being the case and struggled with some of the feelings that surfaced.  The realization that you can not be prepared for hard things came rushing back to me.

I want to step in and help where needed.  I sat with my friend yesterday and answered as many questions as I could.  I laughed with her as she made jokes and let her cry when she needed.  But inside I was screaming.

I was stopped three times today, people asking how my friend is doing, or telling me how lucky my friend is to have me.  I put on a brave face and tried to step in again.   It all felt too close.  Too fresh.  Again, the “screaming” just behind the pleasant look on my face.

So. Maybe as my friend begins her journey, there will be times when I can step in and lend a hand.  Maybe there will be times when I have to step back and reach out for help in my own journey.

And, just like a dance, the steps will fall into place.

Luke

Today is the 8th birthday of my sweet little blond guy.  I say sweet and that mostly fits him.  He has become quite a joker this year so sometimes sweet is not the word I would choose.  He had the audacity to tell me that I was not, in any way shape or form, a funny person.  He kept this up for an entire weekend despite my constant cajoling and pestering that I was, in fact, pretty funny sometimes!  He is quite proud of his sense of humor, as he should be.  I will admit defeat, he is darn funny.  (He did finally relent that I am sometimes funny, and that his torment was…a joke. Hmmm. )

Luke recently lost both of his top front teeth.  The second one was hanging there for a few days and while the boys were wrestling and play fighting, Max smacked that sucker out.  The tooth was missing for a whole day before it was recovered.  He didn’t want to smile for a picture, so this is pretty accurate.

Luke at 8:

Favorite food: Pizza

Favorite color: Green and Blue

Favorite book:  Judy Bloom, Tails of 4th Grade Nothing

Favorite movie: Pokemon Black and White

Favorite thing to do:  Be Crazy! (not sure what this entails, but apparently it’s a good time)

He also enjoys swimming, parkour, running, riding bikes, playing games and hanging out with friends.  Though he is the loudest complainer about going to church, he is the first one to ask to go when we miss a week.

Luke.  Thanks for being smart and kind.  Friendly and funny.  Energetic and charismatic.  We are so glad you came to our family! Happy birthday blond boy…Love you to the stars.

quick dose

I had to stop and get my feelings out…in a quick dose of sad before the amazing day of 8th birthdays arrives tomorrow! (Happy early day Luke!)

Life is hard. Sometimes its totally sucks. I tend to get a little crazy in those times and make things worse in my oh, so creative brain. I cried a lot this morning. I am still pretty teary. But I am also happy. Because even when things are hard and stinky and seemingly impossible to get through, there is something. A quick dose of happy somewhere.

Today, part of that happy came in the form of a half a can of pepsi at 10:00 a.m. Now I will venture out to be a mom/hero and deliver donuts to the soon-to-be birthday boy, find a pretty tree to make me smile, and soak up some of this beautiful Arizona sun. Because Jesus loves me.

Amen.

still here

Jesse took a tumble last week.

While trimming a tree, holding a branch in one hand and a chainsaw in the other, he thought, “this ladder is going to fall.”

And fall it did.  Followed immediately by him falling approximately 24 feet.  Somehow in that split second he said a prayer and then woke with the chainsaw running next to him.  Jesse does’t leave things undone so he got to his feet while he struggled to hear and see everything around him, and proceeded to load up the branches he had trimmed from the tree.

Once he got home, it was clear that we needed to get to the hospital to make sure he hadn’t done anything serious.

After nearly 5 hours in the ER, (which is pretty quick considering he was a level 2 trauma) he was sent home.  He has a concussion, a cracked rib, bruised kidney, dislocated finger, and a whole lot of bumps and bruises.

But he is still here.

I keep thinking through the last few days with the perfect knowledge that things could have gone very differently.

How happy I am that they didn’t.

good days

I love good days.

Sometimes the good days are filled with lots of things to do and the feeling of great accomplishment.  Other times they are slow days where a few things get done but so much is soaked in and appreciated.

This week has had both kinds of good days and I am so glad I am here to enjoy what ever kind of day rolls my way.

Even when I am super sore from squats, lunges, and super stretchy yoga.

spring break ’12

This year spring break was similar to the last few years.  Enjoying beautiful weather, spending time as a family, laughing at what a ghost town our neighborhood becomes, and some fighting mixed in just to liven things up.  

The boys had a few parkour classes, we went to a dollar movie, and spent a day at ikea.  That was the first two days.  

Then Grandma and Grandpa arrived and we spent the next few days building a super cool picnic table, kids rode light rail into Phoenix with friends and ate lunch, and we hiked wind cave and left cameras in the car.

The giant tent/bounce house art came back to Mesa so we took the kids and grandparents this time. (last time it was called Amococo, this time around was a little different.  Nameds Mirazozo)  

Luke found a very large leprechaun, I am pretty sure he is completely ostracized by his peers and has to hang out at art festivals because of his size.  

We managed to get a date in that week and had a great time despite the 40 degree temps that blew in on the weekend.  We sadly missed out on the snow/hail that some neighborhoods got.  It was great to have the grandparents here and enjoy their generosity, as usual.  Fun was had by all. 

One more quarter of school and these kids are free to fight for 10 straight weeks.  Whew!  

birthdays

This week there was a birthday.  Not of anyone at my house but that of Jesse’s Dad.  I have not written much about our extended families and decided this year was the year to do so. Each birthday of grandparents will bring a new installment of my “birthdays”  posts. (which means your turn is coming!!)  So, without further ado, let me introduce you to Grandpa Jim.

Born on March 5, not sure of the year.  Unless I felt like doing math because he turned 60 this year.  (you can do the math.)  Grandpa Jim has spent more time in our home than the other grandparents because of the good old asphalt sealant plant that brought us to Arizona nearly 9 years ago.  He was often around to do projects and business with Jesse and it was such fun for the kids to get to know him better this way.

Because he spent quite a bit if time in our home the year I was pregnant with Luke and the year after he was born, he and Luke have a special bond.  Luke may be the only grandchild to have his diaper changed by Grandpa!  (not completely sure, but I would be 90% willing to bet on it and that’s good odds!)

Grandpa is an early riser so on more than one occasion he made “yolk eggs” for Max before the sun had even come up.  Max is our early riser, they have had some good morning chats over the years.

Grandpa and Grandma were here the last weekend of February for a quick visit.  Actually Grandpa was here to hunt javelina and Grandma came to stay with us.  He didn’t get to shoot a javelina but he still got to take a little one home with him in the form of a rusty metal piece of art.  The kids KNEW grandpa had to have it when they saw it.  And they were right.

Our family sure is happy to have had the chance to spend so much time with Jim.  He has shared a lot of memories at our house.  He has helped us when things have been difficult and laughed with us when trouble was nowhere to be found.  Last year we were amidst a lot of unknown with my health.  As Christmas rolled around both of our families really wanted us to spend the holiday with them.  I didn’t feel strong enough to make the drive but that didn’t mean anything to Jim!  An email came my way with a plane ticket in my name.  And a family Christmas was had.  I think that trip meant a lot to a lot of people.  Family that had been far away for so much of the cancer adventures that we were dealing with were able to look me in the face and give me a hug.  And I sure needed those hugs!!

Happy 60th Grandpa Jim!